Come on over
A couple years back my parents, brother and I took a trip to Charleston. While planning for it Clayton or I somehow came across that a folk artist we love, Sarah Jarosz, had a concert scheduled and decided to go with our parents. It was a great show and one of the final songs she played was “Come on up to the house”. The lyrics in the song are great and my dad later told my brother that while we were growing up one of the things he always wanted was for our house to feel like a place our friends were welcome. Based on the fact that my house was probably the most common place for my friends to hang out I’d say he reached that goal.
The beckoning request from that song came to me recently while thinking about my cocktail and why I’m excited by it. There are the more obvious reasons like: my enjoying this skill and wanting to share it with others so they can hopefully enjoy it like I do and that it furthers my own learning on the subject. But there is another one that is a bit harder to talk about.
Despite having a wonderful base of friends who I'm fortunate to see often I at times have anxiety when reaching out wondering, “what am I suggesting we do?” Do I have something novel in mind? While it can feel silly to write there are times I don't reach out when I wish to because an internal inferiority complex ends up overpowering my desire to do so.
When I think about inviting people over for a cocktail in a way I think of Anthony Bourdain who among many notable things said, “What nicer thing can you do for somebody than make them breakfast?” I extend this to the realm of cocktailing as well. I remind myself in these moments that offering to make something for someone is a small but generous thing to do. The great thing is of course when I put something like this on offer if people are free they pretty much always say, “I’m in!” Many of us can feel lonely at times and I find solace in being able to lean on a small offer like this to get out of my own way and invite people over. Like my dad, I want people to feel welcome when coming over to my house and being able to offer them something like that gives me a bit more confidence when inviting them over to the house.