My Saturday Night Demons
Its been a nice weekend so far. I spent the evening catching up with two lovely friends over dinner and drinks. We laughed and carried on. It was a great time. Today I did some reading and writing, went to a yoga class, picked up a couple of books and caught an episode of "The Man in the High Castle".
Tomorrow I'll see a friend for breakfast in the morning, catch another yoga class, visit some of the Open Studios in the afternoon, run some errands, wind down and call it a weekend. Its a nice balance of active with some quiet time here and there.
Tonight I'm staying in by choice. I'm going to enjoy a dinner and do my thing. As I grow up and slowly become more confident in who I am, I can still wrestle as an extrovert with a night in for myself. There can be a voice whispering in my ear, "there's fun stuff to do out with friends! Speaking of friends, why haven't any called you tonight? Don't they like you?"
I know all of these things to be my ego talking and yet they are at moments, hard to downplay. Its merely learning to turn down the volume but that doesn't mean its easy in the moment.
Just thought I would share how I can feel alone at times despite being surrounded by a world of good people. I am fortunate to know so many and its one of many things to remind myself of when in struggle.
Have a good Saturday night all.