"To the Others"
Over the weekend I began re-watching the BBC show "Peaky Blinders". Its the story of a gang in post-World War I England. Towards the end of the first season, the Shelby family who runs the gang celebrates a major victory. The family's leader, Thomas, is mixed in his emotions though as it appears a woman he has come to love is leaving his life.
As he sits with the family matriarch Polly, she says to him in a comforting tone, "There will be others." To which he toasts her with a solemn acknowledgement , "To the others. All of them." His sentiment stirred something in me I feel at times, have tried occasionally to write about but have never found the right language I am in search of. His statement has pushed me to try and do so.
At the most fundamental level, much of life's allure is the unknown. What the poet David Whyte describes as, "this sense of imminent surprise". While there are always moments we might wish to know what the conclusion will be, it is the surprise that makes life worth living. No matter our plans or lack thereof, what we desire will likely never quite come to pass and the tension between desire and reality keeps us guessing and intrigued.
Having been through 35 plus years of life, I've had romantic interests pass through my life, sometimes materializing as a few dates, some turning into relationships, and moments I have had a keen interest in someone but it never materialized. I look back on many of those chapters fondly or can typically spot how I have grown because of them.
But at certain moments whether you've lost something great or feel like you've been stuck in a rut for a while, exhaustion and frustration can begin to take hold and the desire to get back up in search of the others can feel like a tough hill to climb. While I objectively acknowledge there are great people out there to meet, sometimes I am at a loss for the best way to meet them. Should I keep moving through life as I have or if there are things I should change about my lifestyle or activities to meet them.
I am grateful for the rich journey my life has been and am interested to see what will come next. I imagine part of what is next to come is finding more ways to put myself out there that may be uncomfortable while remaining true to who I am. For who knows what may lay directly ahead on the road or be a ways down the path worth discovering? Only one way to find out.