President of My Fan Club
To me self-depreciation has often felt like: having a little fun at my own expense because a situation or my performance didn't go as expected.
Increasingly I'm hearing from friends, family and colleagues that my self-deprecation sounds like: Me putting myself down yet again, taking the joke too far or flat out undervaluing myself.
I've heard this for years from my brother and in recent weeks from colleagues. But yesterday as I was preparing to leave my parent's house my father offered me a piece of advice in light of the current two week hiatus from eating animal protein I'm taking. While standing at the door saying our goodbye he suggested, "maybe the next challenge you should adopt is not talk bad about yourself for two weeks!?"
As I drove home, his comment stayed with me. When does my enjoyment of humor become toxic? What if I had to first give myself positive reinforcement when messing up rather than negative. Is the self-talk I'm giving myself consistent with what I would say to a friend that made a mistake? I do sometimes use playful language to diffuse a mistake someone has made but attempt to always keep their feelings in mind. So today I will take the step of working to become my own biggest fan. I will celebrate my wins and remind myself of the great stuff I've accomplished when I fall flat.
Go Forth Boldly