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Single and in love


While reading Becoming Wise the other day, a portion of the book's discussion with Eve Ensler, jumped out at me.

Ensler talked about a point in her life when she was battling cancer as a single parent out of a tiny New York apartment. Throughout many of her contemplative moments, the physical and emotional pain she was in pushed her to lament not having someone in her life who loved her during this trial. She had dated here and there after her marriage ended but nothing all that serious.

As she made her way through treatment and other aspects of cancer, a realization dawned on her. There was love all around her. She was not in short supply of love but rather an abundance. Friends and family called on and visited her regularly. The amount of care quite simply surrounded her.

She did not lack in love but rather longed for companionship and intimate relationship. This realization did not diminish her desire for such a partner, but helped her realize love was something she didn’t have to wait for. It was right in front of her.

Prior to reading Eve Ensler’s comments, I’m not sure as a single 34 year old male, I had fully drawn out the distinction she noted between love and longing.

While I know there are many people in my life who care deeply about me, if you would have asked me, “is there love in your life?”, I probably would’ve answered “no”, without really taking the time to think about it.

While companionship is something I am still in search of, gaining the language and mental framework around what ails and delights us is empowering. I am a grateful to Ensler for having pointed out this distinction for me.

I will work to regularly think and state that I have an abundance of love in my life and I’m grateful for it.

Go Forth Boldly


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